It’s a rare occurrence if a person walks away from a divorce thinking, “Well, that was easy.” When you go through a divorce, there are really two divorces happening at once: the legal divorce and the emotional divorce. The legal divorce involves money, paperwork, attorneys, mediators, assets, liabilities, accountants, visitation, and did I mention paperwork? On the other side of all this is the emotional divorce which includes hurt, anger, shame, crying, low self-esteem, waffling, blaming, and revenge.
While these emotions are all perfectly normal during this time, they can affect your ability to deal with the legal side of your divorce in a productive manner. Most of the decisions you make during the divorce process will be final, and unfortunately, many of the important decisions are at the beginning of the process when you may still be emotionally raw. You do not want to make any decisions that you will regret or that will affect your relationship with your children in a negative manner. Keeping the legal and emotional divorces separate will allow you to make the decisions that are right for you and your children.
As a therapist, I work on the emotional aspects of divorce with the hope that the legal divorce process can be shorter and smoother for all parties involved. This is not only important for your sanity, but also if there are children involved. The sooner that you can process your feelings and get the support you need, the sooner you can begin to rebuild your life and find happiness. While you may feel out of balance for awhile, you can steady yourself by making decisions in an objective manner where emotions do not color your legal documents. By keeping your head on straight, you will lessen the pain of the divorce and the time it takes to complete the process. Therapy can help close the book on a painful chapter and begin a happier and more rewarding next one.
If you feel ready to tackle the emotional side of your divorce, contact me for a free, 15 minute telephone consultation today at (916) 622-3996.